6X Open

Heart Surgery #6 for my heart buddy. No matter how many times you go through this, it doesn’t get easier. I promise you, it feels like the world stops. It almost feels like the outside world doesn’t exist or you don’t recognize it anymore. Its so indescribably strange, your eyes close as a capable independent human and then they open 10 hrs later and you are not you. You need support, you have to rely on everyone as you suddenly become incapable. As an adult, its beyond humbling. You miss breathing. You miss the simplicity of everything like going to the restroom, eating, standing up, walking, showering, etc. Then you get on facebook and see everyone complaining about bullshit and you realize you can’t relate to people anymore, at least not the ones who haven’t faced their scars. Then you finally leave the hospital and the journey begins. A man just physically touched your heart and now you are back walking the streets making eye contact with another pair of eyes, hoping they can see your heart. Thinking about you everyday Jonathan, a lot of people on your side. 6 down.